All I want or what I want.

All I want or what I want.

I listened Lambada today, I was driving home from work, with a bit of luck I haven’t had any accident, or produced one. I know myself, I dream with my eyes open, I’m not present anymore. I listened on repeat that song, several times and I was in Brazil this time. I was on the beach and I was dancing in the sand.

Well, I don’t even know how to dance but I remember perfectly the video clip. I was really young when I first saw it, with that two kids dancing even though their parents wouldn’t allow. The father of the girl especially, but the young boy didn’t give up. His mother was even better than him, she invited her father to dance and they all ended up dancing, smiling and just be happy. It’s good that I remember the story but I don’t remember when I last saw the video clip.

It’s funny how the mind works, it’s fascinating. But what it’s actually more fascinating is the kids’ mind, how it works. They just liked each other and they were so pure and eager to share a moment together, a moment of happiness and even if the parents were not allowing that they still danced, just beautiful.

I was actually pretty impressed with the mother, she saw everything and she acted and she made it even more beautiful. Where did we screw everything up?

You can watch the video clip yourself and you will probably see another version of the events. My version is that we are so behind in life and so far away from what is called, happiness. Look at those kids, they didn’t listen, and they were happy. Look at the mother, she was so open and also didn’t think too much, she just acted. But now look at the father, why wouldn’t let her daughter dancing with that boy? I’m guessing prejudices.

Who is making these standards, who is telling us be happy? Who are these who are brainwashing us? Telling us, do that, make that, you will be happy. Or, you have a dream car, you have a home, hell you are loaded with money, no problem whatsoever.

I truly believe these standards are making us sick, superficiality makes us sick. Problems, hmm, I actually like problems, it’s not my idea but I felt it for a long time, just to be confirmed by a book. I’m just going to ask you, a simple question, how do you feel after solving a problem? I’m not going to answer for you, you know how. Yeah, we only have problems; you solve one, comes the next one, o really? Good morning people, life is a problem.

I’m just writing things, I just leave my mind free, and before I write something I don’t even think about it. I don’t have a plan or topic in my mind. Why would you listen to me? I don’t care really. You know why, because there is fact, you read something, you see something, you feel something, it’s already on your mind. It’s happening with me too, I say I don’t care, who is this to tell me what to do, what he knows. When you dream and you see a face, but you don’t know that face, well, I will surprise you, you saw that face in your life time. Our brain, magical as it is, it cannot make up a face.

So, in conclusion, what do I do? I’m trying to be what I want and  how I want to be and I’m trying not to close any door, in that way I will not miss the opportunity to learn something, about anything or anyone, I said, I’m trying J

All I want or what I want.

All I want is you to think, how to be free, because I do for myself. What I want, is you to answer.

P.S The answer is in the next sentence and it goes like this: What is the color of you t-shirt? Common admit it, you looked to see it. Just a minor mind game. Or  it’s not a t-shirt…

Today

Thousand things or none.

I have a thousand things to say to you, and a thousand reasons not to.

People are more what they hide than what they say. It is never as scary as it looks, life it’s a movement state, not a static state, you can’t fight life, and life has to follow you, not you to follow the life. People always leave but the heart will always remember. Think about that day in the past, when you said it can’t go worse, or what’s the end of this. What did you do? Probably nothing, life happened and now you are here, it’s gone, so what happens today, it won’t stay in your life for long. Am I playing with your mind now? Did you really think about what I said?

Probably. What do you feel now?

They say follow your passion, they say to behave yourself and to be good with others. But what do you think about this? Let your passion to follow you. Maybe you are chasing the wrong thing for you. Are you passionate about something? Think how you got there and how does it make you feel. Great, I would say. Are you wondering how and why? Make this exercise with me. Today it will be sunny or today it will be raining, take some extra layer, big changes. What do you prefer or can you relate somehow? Make an analogy. If you think like this, can it be an influence on you? They say pain changes people, have you ever wonder how? Better or worse? I think you are great in your own way. Today, yesterday, tomorrow, routine? Don’t think so, just embrace what it comes, you can’t fight it anyway.

Quiz, have you ever wondered about how many people are you thinking in day? Take a break now, you just did 🙂

Time is passing

I’m watching you as the time is passing. I don’t know where I saw that, or heard, but today I feel it in my bones. I know is supposed to be metaphorical, but it is not. I’m really watching you and the time, is really passing. It hurts.

It’s been a while since we talked the last time; the time is our witness, what happened?

It feels like a silly question, considering that I feel responsible for that. I don’t have words to explain how I feel. My imagination is playing a trick on me. It can’t be true.

The time has passed, but nothing changed with me, I’m still there, where I was the whole time. I don’t remember the last time when I actually thought that is over, because is pretty alive, every day, my thoughts, my feelings, you are there. There is no curtain to hide; there is no place to hide.

I’m afraid of you; I get anxious only by the feeling that I have to talk with you, even if we are not. When it came to you in the past, I did many things, things that probably I should have not done. But I don’t regret it, you have no idea how much you have changed me, even if it does not look, or feels like that at the moment, and I never told you that, how grateful I’m.

I messed everything up, and I ended up, sad! I don’t like missing people; I don’t like to be restrained to talk with someone. Missing someone, I think, it’s the most powerful feeling in the world, is the one that numbs you, is the one that makes you crazy.

It is a paradox at the moment, my feelings are numb, but missing you is something that is pretty alive, something that hurts and something that has to stay with me, I’m hurting people having this feelings, and I really thought that is not me, but I’m and I’m not proud.

I will have to bare everything inside of myself and to pray that one day, I will be ok. Because I’m tired of hurting people or myself.

Business and pleasure

Hello,

OK guys, we went to Split with a lot of motivation and joy to make our movie, after seven hours on the road without air condition we finally arrived in Split, we lost our way there, of course without gps it was fun to find the place, we were lucky because we remembered something from the last time when we were there, after that we went to meet with the other volunteers, they were at mid-term training. we were lucky again because the hotel it was very near to us, first day we filmed the first group on the beach 🙂 and the second day we filmed in the center, I want to say thank you for volunteers who wanted to participate, still more to come, in two weeks we’ll go to Orahovica for an on arrival training where we will meet another volunteers, so more material more chances to succeed  and to work of course.

Pleasure now, except the work we enjoyed the company and the opportunity to meet another volunteers, of course the sea. After Split we went to Pag Island, Novalja, amazing, I never see in my life such a nice place, the water, beach, night life ( ok it’s not like in Vama Veche), great experience, I think we over tanned but doesn’t matter, the host was amazing, he helped us to fix the car, he gave us Rakia 🙂 I cannot wait to come back there.

I will post pictures now,

Until next time. have a nice week

Summer days

Hello,

I just deleted my post, ah, I’m frustrated now,

Ok, I will be very short now, I think I wrote about my experience here and how much I will miss this place, I think I said something like you should go into EVS because is a great opportunity to develop yourself and to meet new people and to make new friends, to learn about difference between people and culture.

And about that summer is here, finally, is great right now, you can be more happy and full of life.

Until next time I will let you to see some pictures made by my brother at a special event in BucharestImageImageImage

Trip

Hello,

Another week just past, the time is passing so quickly, maybe to fast, this week started UEFA 2012, now we’ll have one month only football, unfortunate Romania its not there but we have Croatia, the second home, I hope they will do something nice, it will be nice to party on the street with all the Croatian people, so GOO Croatia!!!

This week-end we spend some quality time with Cristina’s Teta, she invited us for her daughter birthday, we went in Baranja, approx 50 km from Osijek, very nice, very good food, very nice people and kind, we took a walk near the Danube and we saw Serbia on the other side, very nice but because we are volunteers and we don’t have that much money we were a little bit stress because we didn’t have gas, what can I say? With a little bit help from Cristina’s Teta we managed and everything was perfect, Thank you Cristina’s Teta

Next time I will put some pictures, its more interesting. no?

ByeImage

Kindergarten

Hello,

I don’t know from where to start, last week Cristina had celebration at her kindergarten so I went, it was nice to see how the tetas and the parents thank Cristina because of this year, she did a great job there, I’m proud of her.

What else, at my kindergarten we had a meeting with parents and kids for the last time, because my group is going to school next year most of them will not come anymore to kindergarten, it’s very sad because I started to like them very much and I will miss them, this made me think how grateful I’m because I could stay with them for one year of they’re life, now I’m sad because everything is going to end, I have to say this, when I will leave I will miss my tetas very much, great people and great friends.

Saturday we went to Novi Sad but next time I will write more about this, because I went there or I don’t know why, today I was to hospital, apparently I have some problems with my throat that need more attention and of course antibiotics.

 

Until next week, all the best for you

Update

Hello,

What’s up people? The summer is coming and this means that we have only four months left, the time past fast now if I think about it. Last week we start to plan our trips for summer, to work on our personal project and to update some things, we came with a great idea to go in Split when the other volunteers have the mid term training, than we’ll have more volunteers to film and more material to work, we are looking forward for this, it will be very interesting and fun, I hope.

I need to clarify something about my last post, it was not fair when I sad about our Hosting Organization, the thing that happened is that I stayed five hours in hospital, there you just think that you are in a foreign country and of course the feeling is not OK and a lot of another things, you can understand that, but we didn’t call them so they don’t have guilt for anything.

And with this I will end, see you next week

 

Interesting week

Hello,

Let’s start with what happened last week, so we have kindergarten, filming, trip and Hospital 🙂

Kindergarten, we had the final event, celebration. it was sad but in the same time very very nice, I was nervous and excited to see the performance of the kids, a lot of tears, because my group is going to school next year, I was surprised by the parents because they thanked me and they told me I was a star for the kids, it was nice to see that somebody is really appreciating me, sincerely, also the parents gave me a t-shirt with the kids pictures printed on the chest, very emotional everything, we took pictures and we hug a lot… I will miss these kids and of course I will miss my Teta’s. Maybe very soon I will post some pictures.

Filming. we started to do our personal project, it wasn’t easy like we hoped, so for two days we tried to shot some short scene with Marta Gomez from Vukovar (our good friend) and with Loren ( new friend) , it was funny and let’s just hope at the end we will have something really nice. We are looking forward for the next challenge.

Trip, yes we did it again, with The Dacia we went to Pecs in Hungary.very nice town. very nice roads :P, unfortunately I was sick and I’m still sick but it was great!!!! So The Dacia was already to Serbia,Croatia,Hungary and will not stop here 😀

Hospital, a perfect Saturday evening, instead to go in some pubs or clubs our health conditions told us to go to hospital, so for four hours we enjoyed and we spend quality time there, I am joking…so now I’m under antibiotics and let’s just hope everything will be great ‘a soon as possible’ , big minus for the Host Organization for this kind of things because when something is emergency or I don’t what, they work from Monday to Friday between 09-13 so the are not reachable for anything, but let’s just forget them, aaa I don’t have medical paper to prove that I’m sick!!! Next time.

See you very soon,

Bye

Welcome back

Hello people,

We had our vacation,yuhuu…so we went to Bucharest, great time there, it was nice to see again my family, my friends, excellent time, my regret is that I got into Bucharest syndrome, that means we didn’t have time to do what we planned but it’s ok, we enjoyed our time with family and we went in the city almost very night, in the last week Nadja came to us, we were more busy, we went to the sea-side and we tried to show her the main attractions in Bucharest, I have to say…it was excellent but short time.

I will post some pictures now, sorry but today I don’t have so much inspiration but I will come back to you next week.

Enjoy,