I’m watching you as the time is passing. I don’t know where I saw that, or heard, but today I feel it in my bones. I know is supposed to be metaphorical, but it is not. I’m really watching you and the time, is really passing. It hurts.
It’s been a while since we talked the last time; the time is our witness, what happened?
It feels like a silly question, considering that I feel responsible for that. I don’t have words to explain how I feel. My imagination is playing a trick on me. It can’t be true.
The time has passed, but nothing changed with me, I’m still there, where I was the whole time. I don’t remember the last time when I actually thought that is over, because is pretty alive, every day, my thoughts, my feelings, you are there. There is no curtain to hide; there is no place to hide.
I’m afraid of you; I get anxious only by the feeling that I have to talk with you, even if we are not. When it came to you in the past, I did many things, things that probably I should have not done. But I don’t regret it, you have no idea how much you have changed me, even if it does not look, or feels like that at the moment, and I never told you that, how grateful I’m.
I messed everything up, and I ended up, sad! I don’t like missing people; I don’t like to be restrained to talk with someone. Missing someone, I think, it’s the most powerful feeling in the world, is the one that numbs you, is the one that makes you crazy.
It is a paradox at the moment, my feelings are numb, but missing you is something that is pretty alive, something that hurts and something that has to stay with me, I’m hurting people having this feelings, and I really thought that is not me, but I’m and I’m not proud.
I will have to bare everything inside of myself and to pray that one day, I will be ok. Because I’m tired of hurting people or myself.